Tired, all the time

There was a time when I took some sort of sleeping pill almost every night. This was melatonin, anti-histamines or alcohol. At the same time, without realizing the irony of it all, I was tired all. the. time. Like, yawning all day, could not do anything I wanted to do. Always tired. I went to the doctor, he ordered tests, they were all normal. How could this be? I'm always tired, this is not normal. A friend told me that she got her antibodies tested and she has some auto immune disorder that sounded a lot like what I had, mostly irritable and tired all the time. I thought about going to get tested for that. I didn't, mostly because I was so tired all the time, I didn't want to deal with going to the doctor again.

For some reason, I'm not sure why, I stopped with the sleep aides. I went to sleep better. I slept better. I had energy. Of course, about that same time I also started taking Korean Red Ginseng, which is advertised to give you energy, keep you awake. It worked, magically. But, thinking back, it could have been that I stopped with the sleep aides once I found a way to stay awake. At about the same time I also started taking a multivitamin. This probably didn't hurt either. Last night, I did take a melatonin, I knew hubby would be coming home from work late, and I wanted to sleep through it. It worked, except all day, I was soo tired. I can't believe that it took this long to figure out that my being tired was only because I always had, what I call, a drug hangover. I knew that it was the drugs enough to give it a name, but not to make the connection that it lasted all day, or for days, or that the alcohol had more of an effect than I had though.

Of course, now I just started having a cup of coffee first thing in the morning while I check email. I'm not sure if this is any better, but at least I'm having my multivitamin and not my malatonin.

Why Apples Sell

I'm in the market for a new laptop. A small, cheap, powerful one. I've enlisted the help of my computer expert brother, and we've spent the last hour sifting through the various websites looking for the best deal. Prices vary widely and seemingly randomly, and the important details are hard to figure out. Things like battery life, screen resolution and weight matter when I'll be stuck at school for 8 hours on Saturday afternoon this fall, but you can't sort by that.

This is why Apples sell so well. They have (I think) three options, all logically priced based on obvious differences to the consumer. If I were a less patient and stubborn person, I probably would have bought one by now. Instead, I'll head over to asus.com and see what I can find.

Cancer Update

Back in October 2008 I posted about a friend who had recently found out he had brain cancer, at 24. I talked with him a bit then, we talked about getting together in Edmonton over Christmas because he would have been there for treatment and I was there to visit family. That never happened, I don't think we even talked again after that. So, today I was going through my friends list on Facebook, deleting the people I don't talk to anymore, and I decided to check up on him. It turns out that he passed away on March 7, 2010. He was supposed to have five years, he only got one and a half.

I'm so sorry that I never got the chance to see him again, to say goodbye.

Why the Justice system doesn't work (a thought)

When disciplining children and pets, it's well known that you have to catch them in the act and discipline right away, so they know exactly what they are being punished for. Why don't we do this for criminals? Maybe the system doesn't work because you speed, you get a letter in the mail two weeks later.

You rob a bank, you're put in holding for up to three years while you wait for trial.

If you get bail for your crime, you go on with life. For a few years anyway, until the trial.

Depending on your crime, you've either moved past that phase of your life so punishment is irrelevant, or you've kept going in your life of crime while waiting for your first punishment. This doesn't teach the criminal, or the kids. Justice should be swift, then maybe you'll learn why you are being punished. I realize that there needs to be time for an investigation, but due process is what makes the justice system fail to work.

What to do

What do you do when you have responsibility for a project that you have little control over, little direction for, and are completely unqualified for? How are you supposed to pull it off when ideas are shot down, and your systems are destroyed without a second thought? You have a budget, but horrific resources. Everyone else knows better, and yet it's up to you to solve the problems.  Any decisions made are criticized all around, but no viable suggestions are offered.

What if you have voiced your objections about the project, your concerns, your reasons for feeling completely unqualified, your explanations for your actions? And all you get is to keep working at it. How are you supposed to continue when you'd really really rather turn around and walk away from it all.

Travel issues

One of my friends from work is traveling to Florida this weekend, so we were talking about flight plans and the issue of those body scanners came up. From what H heard from her friend, they don't really give you a choice on the matter. You get in a line, and if you're in the body scanner line, you have to go through. Even a pregnant lady went through because she was scared of not getting on the plane. And then, I realized something. I am much more uncomfortable with flying, especially into the US, because of the 'safety measures' than I am with the idea that someone will smuggle a bomb on board. Now, I'm not sure if that's because I'm Canadian, and I've never been robbed in any way (*knock on wood*) or even beat up (brother excluded). And, I fully support randomly testing the outside of my laptop for explosives residue, and I'm ok with putting my shoes through the x-ray machine. But keep your eyes outside my clothes.

I realize that as a small white girl, I'm low on the list of stereotypical bombers, so (fair or not) I'm probably low on the random cavity search list, but the idea of walking into a scanner and having a full body x-ray creeps me out. I know the person watching the x-rays does not get to see the people, and the security guards who see us, don't get to see the x-rays. Well, probably not. Maybe. Unless, they keep the x-ray pictures, for 'training purposes'. There's so much room for abuse, and it really creeps me out.

I can't find the link right now, but I'm sure I saw an article that said that behaviour screening is one of the more effective methods of screening. So, train up some airport security guards, make it a cool profession (come on, who doesn't want to be able to read people like the guy in Lie To Me), and make it public that you can not hide your intentions. How many people would try to get a bomb on board if some random guard at the airport would be able to see that you were anxious to get on the plane, not because you don't want to see your mother on the other end, not because you're scared of flying as such, but because you don't want to get caught. You're then pulled aside, for a conversation. Nothing intimidating, not an interrogation room, but a waiting room. This more trained guy or girl, then walks in and chats about where you're going, and the president, and how awesome this country is. And, if he sees that you are just nervous about flying, you're on your way. And, if he sees that you hate this country, well, then you get a trip through the full body scanner, and whatever other technology they can create. But, us normal travelers, us 99.9% of people who just want to go on vacation or to the conference in Vegas, why must we prove our innocence in such an invasive way? Apparently, because a handful of people every year decide they want to kill someone?

Thanks, I'll take my car.

Healthy Child, Healthy World

Healthy Child, Healthy World


Not that I'm planning on having children just yet, soon, but not next week, but the idea holds true for everyone. I want to live a long healthy life, and that includes trying to minimize the crap that goes into my body. As a society, we have become very complacent and trusting of major corporations (which I don't understand, but I'll save details for another day). Granted, there is a whole lot of science that we can't really understand without a PhD is chemical engineering, so it's hard to judge what is ok and what is not. My general rule is that if I can't pronounce it and/or understand what it is made of or how it is made, it's probably not good for me, and should not be in my food or clothing.
But, we run out of time, we have work, hobbies, social media, pets, and the green lawn with the white picket fence to take care of. We forget to take care of ourselves and have real relationships with those around us. I've lived in my house for almost a year and a half, I have said hi to my neighbours, but I don't know their names, what they do for fun or anything like that.
It's time to get back to basics, trust your neighbours, grow some of your own food, and stop buying pre-made everything (ok, so I'm not perfect, last night I bought ready to bake pumpkin pie filling).
I pledge to reclaim my house from chemicals before I start my family.