There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world.
However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to population references). Assuming an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, this computes to 108 million homes - presuming there is at least one good child in each.
Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that, for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh, and get onto the next house. Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household. This amounts to a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks. Therefore, Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second -- 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.
The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousands tons, not counting Santa himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that the "flying" reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them---Santa would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch). 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.
The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip. Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 miles per second in 0.001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.
Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Changing Priorities
How often is it that one comes across a situation that completely changes the way one looks at the world, and priorities? Until this week, I had given up on my seemingly dream job, was happy in my current job and wanted to work towards the husband and babies life plan. Then I got a heads up about the potential opportunity to go back to my home town and partake in my dream job. I’m at the top of this list, personally mentioned by the guy in charge. Suddenly I find myself forgetting about buying a house in Calgary, forgetting about finding the man for me and being happy with a man who I’ll leave here when I potentially go back home and do my dream job.
I once heard a man say that you always have time for your passions, and that you should find your passion and figure out how to make a living doing that. His personal example was landscaping, he had started a landscaping business in high school, eventually moving on to other business ventures, and being busy busy with those. Then he gets a call from a buddy asking if he wants to help make a dirt biking track and suddenly his schedule is empty and he flies home to do extreme landscaping. I remember thinking then that I didn’t have such a passion, there’s nothing that I would drop everything to do. Nothing I believed in, cared about, that much. This week has reminded me that I do have such a passion, but it’s in such a narrow field, that it’s hard to get into, and I don’t have the sufficient education that would normally allow me to pursue it, nor do I have the desire to go around the long way and hope and pray to get into my desired department. Which, would only last a few years because they move people around very quickly.
So, with a simple cross-country text message, my priorities changed, my passion became slightly plausible. Well, in a year or so after they get a new office, and after they get funding, but it’s there. But, what do I do while I wait for the time to pass? I hate being in limbo, and that’s exactly where I am.
So, here I am, waiting for a potential job offer if they ever get funding for enough investigators to actually want an analyst...
I once heard a man say that you always have time for your passions, and that you should find your passion and figure out how to make a living doing that. His personal example was landscaping, he had started a landscaping business in high school, eventually moving on to other business ventures, and being busy busy with those. Then he gets a call from a buddy asking if he wants to help make a dirt biking track and suddenly his schedule is empty and he flies home to do extreme landscaping. I remember thinking then that I didn’t have such a passion, there’s nothing that I would drop everything to do. Nothing I believed in, cared about, that much. This week has reminded me that I do have such a passion, but it’s in such a narrow field, that it’s hard to get into, and I don’t have the sufficient education that would normally allow me to pursue it, nor do I have the desire to go around the long way and hope and pray to get into my desired department. Which, would only last a few years because they move people around very quickly.
So, with a simple cross-country text message, my priorities changed, my passion became slightly plausible. Well, in a year or so after they get a new office, and after they get funding, but it’s there. But, what do I do while I wait for the time to pass? I hate being in limbo, and that’s exactly where I am.
So, here I am, waiting for a potential job offer if they ever get funding for enough investigators to actually want an analyst...
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Private: Changing Priorities
How often is it that one comes across a situation that completely changes the way one looks at the world, and priorities? Until this week, I had given up on my seemingly dream job, was happy in my current job and wanted to work towards the husband and babies life plan. Then I got a heads up about the potential opportunity to go back to my home town and partake in my dream job. I'm at the top of this list, personally mentioned by the guy in charge. Suddenly I find myself forgetting about buying a house in Calgary, forgetting about finding the man for me and being happy with a man who I'll leave here when I potentially go back home and do my dream job.
I once heard a man say that you always have time for your passions, and that you should find your passion and figure out how to make a living doing that. His personal example was landscaping, he had started a landscaping business in high school, eventually moving on to other business ventures, and being busy busy with those. Then he gets a call from a buddy asking if he wants to help make a dirt biking track and suddenly his schedule is empty and he flies home to do extreme landscaping. I remember thinking then that I didn't have such a passion, there's nothing that I would drop everything to do. Nothing I believed in, cared about, that much. This week has reminded me that I do have such a passion, but it's in such a narrow field, that it's hard to get into, and I don't have the sufficient education that would normally allow me to pursue it, nor do I have the desire to go around the long way and hope and pray to get into my desired department. Which, would only last a few years because they move people around very quickly.
So, with a simple cross-country text message, my priorities changed, my passion became slightly plausible. Well, in a year or so after they get a new office, and after they get funding, but it's there. But, what do I do while I wait for the time to pass? I hate being in limbo, and that's exactly where I am.
So, here I am, in a quasi-relationship that may or may not go further than the bedroom and a potential job offer if they ever get funding for enough investigators to actually want an analyst. Who knew that I would actually miss my time in Edmonton with no life.
... I did... and yet, here I am.
I once heard a man say that you always have time for your passions, and that you should find your passion and figure out how to make a living doing that. His personal example was landscaping, he had started a landscaping business in high school, eventually moving on to other business ventures, and being busy busy with those. Then he gets a call from a buddy asking if he wants to help make a dirt biking track and suddenly his schedule is empty and he flies home to do extreme landscaping. I remember thinking then that I didn't have such a passion, there's nothing that I would drop everything to do. Nothing I believed in, cared about, that much. This week has reminded me that I do have such a passion, but it's in such a narrow field, that it's hard to get into, and I don't have the sufficient education that would normally allow me to pursue it, nor do I have the desire to go around the long way and hope and pray to get into my desired department. Which, would only last a few years because they move people around very quickly.
So, with a simple cross-country text message, my priorities changed, my passion became slightly plausible. Well, in a year or so after they get a new office, and after they get funding, but it's there. But, what do I do while I wait for the time to pass? I hate being in limbo, and that's exactly where I am.
So, here I am, in a quasi-relationship that may or may not go further than the bedroom and a potential job offer if they ever get funding for enough investigators to actually want an analyst. Who knew that I would actually miss my time in Edmonton with no life.
... I did... and yet, here I am.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Cancer
A good friend from years ago told me tonight that he has terminal brain cancer. He says he's going to fight till the end, but it will still be 4 to 5 years. He's 24, less than a year older than me, and he knows that he'll probably never turn 30, or have kids, or at least not watch them grow up, or any of that stuff. And yet, he's making posts on Facebook about it.
I admire his strength... I just wish it wasn't true. It's been two and a half years since I talked to him, and now I have no idea what to say.
I admire his strength... I just wish it wasn't true. It's been two and a half years since I talked to him, and now I have no idea what to say.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
The Gym
Many years ago an ex-boyfriend of mine decided that the only way we could be together was if I embraced his passion for working out. Granted, at the time I didn't have many hobbies, so I spent a lot of time at school, working or hanging out with a couple friends. But anyway, he often took me to the gym with him where he became my personal trainer. I learned technique for free weights, but never really pushed that hard because, well, I just didn't care that much.
Last week I joined a Woman's Gym, and have gone 4 times since. I've also been eating a little bit better in the evenings because the Gym is upstairs in a Superstore, so I'll have slightly higher gas bills, lower grocery bills and a gym bill. I think it will all even out because of how much I'll save shopping at Superstore instead of Safeway. It's also really hard to buy shitty food when you've JUST left the gym.
Today I did a class called Body Pump, you take weights, and lift them, to music. It's the first time I've ever really pushed myself when it comes to weights, and washing my hair was so difficult afterwards, even after a previous hot shower and 20 minutes in their dry sauna. I've also taken to running on the eliptical, today I did 2kms, and i plan to increase the distance until I get to 35 minutes of running, and then change to 35 minutes of running, and try increase the distance every time. There's a spot on the machine where you can put a USB Key and it will track your progress. So, I have a small key which I will keep with my gym stuff and track my time/distance.
Anyway, the point of this post was supposed to be that after class one of the ladies came up to me and commented on my form. At the start of class they asked if anyone was new, so I raised my hand as I had never been to that class before. The lady was apparently impressed at my form (there was another lady who didn't say she was new who appeared to not be able to do it properly to save her life).
So, I would like to thank Roch for teaching me good form, it is finally paying off, and I'm going to the gym three to four times a week and doing a variety of workouts, not just strength training. I will get lean and toned and I will stay that way.
I would also like to thank my cousin Petra whose own weight loss and stories of running 10kms three times a week inspired me to start to look into the gym.
And, the girls in the AP forum on Nexopia who started a discussion on various gyms and inspired me to actually go and look at the gym.
And, of course, my boy David who hasn't complained once (yet) about me taking my Saturday and Sunday mornings away from him so I can go to the gym instead. He has also been really good at letting me do with for me and being supportive and not pushy.
Last week I joined a Woman's Gym, and have gone 4 times since. I've also been eating a little bit better in the evenings because the Gym is upstairs in a Superstore, so I'll have slightly higher gas bills, lower grocery bills and a gym bill. I think it will all even out because of how much I'll save shopping at Superstore instead of Safeway. It's also really hard to buy shitty food when you've JUST left the gym.
Today I did a class called Body Pump, you take weights, and lift them, to music. It's the first time I've ever really pushed myself when it comes to weights, and washing my hair was so difficult afterwards, even after a previous hot shower and 20 minutes in their dry sauna. I've also taken to running on the eliptical, today I did 2kms, and i plan to increase the distance until I get to 35 minutes of running, and then change to 35 minutes of running, and try increase the distance every time. There's a spot on the machine where you can put a USB Key and it will track your progress. So, I have a small key which I will keep with my gym stuff and track my time/distance.
Anyway, the point of this post was supposed to be that after class one of the ladies came up to me and commented on my form. At the start of class they asked if anyone was new, so I raised my hand as I had never been to that class before. The lady was apparently impressed at my form (there was another lady who didn't say she was new who appeared to not be able to do it properly to save her life).
So, I would like to thank Roch for teaching me good form, it is finally paying off, and I'm going to the gym three to four times a week and doing a variety of workouts, not just strength training. I will get lean and toned and I will stay that way.
I would also like to thank my cousin Petra whose own weight loss and stories of running 10kms three times a week inspired me to start to look into the gym.
And, the girls in the AP forum on Nexopia who started a discussion on various gyms and inspired me to actually go and look at the gym.
And, of course, my boy David who hasn't complained once (yet) about me taking my Saturday and Sunday mornings away from him so I can go to the gym instead. He has also been really good at letting me do with for me and being supportive and not pushy.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Finland School Shooting
A 22 year old man puts videos of himself shooting a gun up on YouTube. The police are notified, and interview him on September 22. September 23rd at 11am he walks into his NAIT/SAIT type school and kills 10 classmates. Some he burns beyond recognition. Reports from those inside say that it was a cool, calculated move by a young man who had friends and good marks. Not quite the typical school shooter (isn't it sad that there is a 'typical' school shooter type?). He leaves the school at 1230 after shooting himself in the head and dies shortly thereafter. 11 dead, with no motive, except internet celebrity status, yet apparent.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Plagiarism
I spent three and a half years at MacEwan, with a year of the University of Alberta in the middle. They both claimed to punish those who plagiarized. For some reason the U of A put the fear of god into me on that topic, more than anything anyone said to me while I was at MacEwan.
I remember staying after class one day to ask my TA if I was going to get in trouble for not citing a source from one of the movies we watched in class (it was a Film and Media Studies class). Boy was I nervous. I was hoping to all hell that they weren't going to kick me out of school for making a small mistake like that. The U made it clear that if they kicked you out, no other self-respecting school would allow you in either. Many of my classmates said that their professors made them submit papers through websites that had databases of papers and would check for plagiarism that way. This, of course, is really scary. What if, by pure chance and probability, you had the same sources as a student from last year? What if he highlighted parts of the book, so you noticed them, and used the same information? Is this plagiarism? Would you get expelled for it? These things seriously worried me. I made myself a system that, if followed precisely, would prevent me from inadvertently plagiarizing off of a website source.
Then, I get back to MacEwan, start a new program, get the ‘Don’t plagiaries’ speech at the start of each class, so I take it seriously. I use my same precautions, be extra careful. Then in my fourth year of post secondary, only a couple classes away from getting a Diploma and getting out of school, I’m in a group with three other people who are not from Canada. Their English is shitty at best. One of them disappears back to Mexico, I think someone died, but who knows. The other two are smart, but really, can’t put a proper English sentence together to save their lives. Obviously I’m in charge of putting the paper together because, well, I have a grasp on the language. So I’m reading, editing, trying to figure out what the hell this girl is trying to say and then magic. A perfect sentence. Not just perfect, extraordinary. Professionally written even. Hmm…. red flag much? So, I copy it into Google, I mean, what other choice do I have? And oh look. There it is.
I send an e-mail to the professor. I mean, I don’t want her kicked out, but I certainly want something done. When I talked to her she didn’t understand the seriousness of the issue, she didn’t care. Really, why should she? She fucks up she goes back to China, the world moves on, ok, no Canadian education, but it’s not like she’s going to integrate properly anyway. She fucked up, I get blamed, I just wasted $35,000, four years, and can’t get any more education because of the huge black mark on my folder. The professor never responded in any way. I don’t know if she ever spoke to the girl. The other students at MacEwan wondered why I was taking it so seriously.
I'm guessing the University makes you believe it because they believe it, while MacEwan just claims they do because they have to.
I remember staying after class one day to ask my TA if I was going to get in trouble for not citing a source from one of the movies we watched in class (it was a Film and Media Studies class). Boy was I nervous. I was hoping to all hell that they weren't going to kick me out of school for making a small mistake like that. The U made it clear that if they kicked you out, no other self-respecting school would allow you in either. Many of my classmates said that their professors made them submit papers through websites that had databases of papers and would check for plagiarism that way. This, of course, is really scary. What if, by pure chance and probability, you had the same sources as a student from last year? What if he highlighted parts of the book, so you noticed them, and used the same information? Is this plagiarism? Would you get expelled for it? These things seriously worried me. I made myself a system that, if followed precisely, would prevent me from inadvertently plagiarizing off of a website source.
Then, I get back to MacEwan, start a new program, get the ‘Don’t plagiaries’ speech at the start of each class, so I take it seriously. I use my same precautions, be extra careful. Then in my fourth year of post secondary, only a couple classes away from getting a Diploma and getting out of school, I’m in a group with three other people who are not from Canada. Their English is shitty at best. One of them disappears back to Mexico, I think someone died, but who knows. The other two are smart, but really, can’t put a proper English sentence together to save their lives. Obviously I’m in charge of putting the paper together because, well, I have a grasp on the language. So I’m reading, editing, trying to figure out what the hell this girl is trying to say and then magic. A perfect sentence. Not just perfect, extraordinary. Professionally written even. Hmm…. red flag much? So, I copy it into Google, I mean, what other choice do I have? And oh look. There it is.
I send an e-mail to the professor. I mean, I don’t want her kicked out, but I certainly want something done. When I talked to her she didn’t understand the seriousness of the issue, she didn’t care. Really, why should she? She fucks up she goes back to China, the world moves on, ok, no Canadian education, but it’s not like she’s going to integrate properly anyway. She fucked up, I get blamed, I just wasted $35,000, four years, and can’t get any more education because of the huge black mark on my folder. The professor never responded in any way. I don’t know if she ever spoke to the girl. The other students at MacEwan wondered why I was taking it so seriously.
I'm guessing the University makes you believe it because they believe it, while MacEwan just claims they do because they have to.
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